It's the Great Pumpkin, Kim Possible
by MrDrP
Summary: We all know that Drakken wants total global domination for Christmas. But what does everyone's favorite blue supervillain want for Halloween? And will he be happy when he gets it? Read on and find out ... COMPLETE
1. Chapter Eye

A little treat for Halloween. _Fly Me to the Moon Will Return_ in two weeks.

Thanks to campy for proofreading this story. He definitely deserves treats, not tricks.

Leave a review and receive a reply. What? You were expecting candy?

KP © Disney

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I.

"Going trick or treating a little early, Drakken?"

"Kim Possible," the blue-skinned, world-saving recidivist who was holding a piece of top secret tech that was most definitely not his whined as he turned to see his long-time arch-foe, who was wearing a regulation blue Global Justice uniform.

"And fiancé," Ron Stoppable, Kim's newly promoted boyfriend and partner in freak-fighting who was similarly attired proudly announced.

"I hope your wedding gown isn't as tight on you as that jump suit, Princess," Shego gibed as she dropped down from the rafters, landing in front of Kim and assuming a fighting stance.

"You know, this does pinch," Ron observed as he shifted uncomfortably. "And sometimes it rides—"

"TMI!" Kim, Shego, and Drakken all chorused.

"Fine," Ron huffed. "If you're all going to be that way …"

"You're actually going to marry this dork?" Shego asked acidly.

"He's weird, but I love him," Kim smirked. "And considering who your beau is …"

Shego shrugged. "What can I say? The hydrangeas grew on me."

As if on cue, one of Drakken's plant tendrils, now tipped with the aforementioned flower, snaked out of his collar and waved a bouquet in front of Shego's face.

"That's so many flavors of wrong," Kim said.

"Actually, it's kind of romantic," Shego replied as she sniffed the flower.

"And environmentally friendly, too," Drakken added. "No nasty fertilizers on these petals!"

Ron rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, could someone remind me where we were?"

"We were busting Shego and Drakken."

"Oh, yeah, that's right."

"I don't think so," Drakken said. "Shego!"

"On it."

"Bring," Kim challenged.

As Shego and Kim engaged in their customary display of martial arts prowess, Drakken turned to Ron. "Explain something to me."

Ron was stunned.

"Wow, I don't hear that all too often."

"I wonder why."

"Was that a shot?"

"What do you think?"

"Just confirmin'. So, what do you want to know?"

"Why aren't you fighting Shego? You're the one with the supposedly invincible monkey powers."

Ron shrugged. "It makes KP happy," he said before he and Drakken had to duck to avoid being slammed by Shego, who'd just been tossed by Kim. "Besides, as you can see, she's still good at fighting the bad guys, not to mention she looks good when she fights them."

"Thanks, Ron!" Kim said cheerfully as she vaulted over the two men to press her attack.

"That's new," Drakken said.

"Tai Xing Pek War," a beaming Ron said. "I taught her."

"So she now knows seventeen kinds of kung fu?" Drakken asked nervously.

"Eighteen, actually. She's taught herself the Snoring Panda style."

Drakken looked over at Shego, who appeared to be groggy. Then he scowled. "Well, you may not be interested in helping your fiancée, but I am."

"You're going to help KP?"

"No, Shego," Drakken said as his tendril slithered out, wrapped around Kim's ankles and pulled her down.

"Wait a minute. You and Shego—"

"Whoa!" Kim yelped in surprise as she hit the ground, hard.

"KP!" Ron exclaimed in concern. As he bent over to tend to his fallen fiancée, he didn't notice that Drakken had come up behind him – or that he was holding a neural compliance chip in his hand. The young man's expression of concern was soon replaced by one of blankness.

"Ron?" Kim said groggily as her eyes fluttered open. "Drakken? What's going—?"

"Happy Halloween, Kim Possible," Drakken said gleefully as he slapped a matching mind control chip on Kim's forehead. "Well played, Shego," he said as his henchwoman/fiancée rose to her feet.

"Thanks, Doctor D," she said as she draped her arm over his shoulder. "Man, I can't believe she fell for that."

"Well, she likes to say she can do anything," Drakken said grandly. "And now she can play a role in my greatest scheme ever!"

II.

"Yes, Will?" Betty Director said as she looked up from her paperwork. Her erstwhile Number One Agent was clearly doing his best to suppress a smile.

"I think you should turn on the Middleton News Network."

Director did as suggested. "Oh dear," she said as she sat back in her chair. "This is not going to look good at budget time."

"I warned you against recruiting them," he said smugly.

"Kim and Ron have done excellent work since they were brought on board," Director said.

"And yet they are now clearly under the influence of a supervillain," Will observed. "Amateur college students."

"Amateur college students who have foiled seventeen plots since the beginning of the semester," Director countered. "There's a reason Drakken went after them, and not you."

"Yes, because I would not have allowed myself to fall into his clutches," Will said pompously.

"No, you just let yourself fall into Dementor's hands last month."

"Those were unusual circumstances," Du protested.

Betty cocked an eyebrow, then sighed. "To be honest, as bad as this is, I don't think it's as damaging as you in that housecoat …"

III.

"Come on, Pumpkin, get a move on," Shego barked.

"Yes, Shego," Kim replied in a syrupy monotone.

"You too, Buffoon," Drakken added.

"Yes, Doctor D," Ron replied in an empty tone similar to Kim's.

Shego turned to Drakken. "I've got to hand it to you, Drew," she said admiringly. "As whacked as this idea was, it turned out to be pretty good."

"Thank you," he said as he popped a miniature chocolate bar into his mouth. "All the candy we can eat and Kim Possible making a complete fool of herself."

Shego snorted as she looked at Ron and Kim. "And Stoppable, too. That get up is too much."

"Well, he's a buffoon, so why not have him dress as one?"

Ron was wearing a ridiculous clown costume, complete with bulbous red nose, face paint, baggy pants with polka dots, and ridiculously large shoes. He also had a sign attached to the front of his suit that declared, "Global Justice's Finest … Buffoon."

"And I must say, I do think that was an excellent choice for Miss Possible," Drakken said.

"Thanks," Shego said with a grin. "It was the only thing that would cover her huge hips and big bottom, right Pumpkin?"

The nickname was especially appropriate as Kim was dressed in a giant pumpkin, her arms protruding and legs clad in orange leggings. Painted across her middle were the words, "I can do anything – even make a fool of myself." The world famous crime fighter and one-time teen hero looked ridiculous.

"Yes, Shego," she said obediently.

"Well, where to next?" the glamorous henchwoman asked.

"Upperton," Drakken said. "I've heard there's some slammin' T and T action there. From there we will go to Eastside and then conquer Lowerton."

"That's a lot of ground to cover," a dubious Shego said.

"Perhaps," Drakken replied. "But we do have a funky fresh flying car, the night is young – and it would be such a shame if all of the people of the Tri-City area didn't have a chance to enjoy Team Possible's all-that fashion statements."

"Well," Shego said with a malicious grin as she took Drakken's outstretched hand. "When you put it that way …"

_The End._


	2. Chapter Eye Eye

Thanks to Mr. Wizard, Boris Yeltsin, Shockwave88, Comet Moon, campy, JCS1966, bigherb81, CajunBear73, Josh84, Katsumara, Sentinel103, Quathis, loveandwar007, Eddy13, whitem, screaming phoenix, Mahler Avatar, Shrike176, Molloy, RonHeartbreaker, Joe Stoppinghem, Aero Tendo, and RedBlueGreen for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Special thanks to campy for proofreading this wholly unplanned chapter.

Leave a review and receive a reply.

KP © Disney

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**A/N:** My intent was for this to be a one-shot but many of your reviews (and the fear of finding many rocks in my T or T bag next Halloween) inspired me to write this chapter.

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I.

"Aaiiieee!" Rufus screamed as he watched the unfolding horror on the Stoppables' TV. After returning from an evening of trick-or-treating with Hana, the family had settled in to watch _Tangoing with the B List Celebrities_ (both Timothy North and Dexter from the O Boyz! were contestants). But instead of watching Timothy North, Summer Gale, and others compete for ballroom glory, they were viewing something most disturbing. Mr. Stoppable hurriedly placed his hand over his daughter's eyes while his wife cringed. The pumpkin-costumed girl they hoped would one day be part of the family was busily stuffing her clown-suited boyfriend's mouth with coconut-filled candies, which she too was scarfing down as Drakken watched with glee and Shego looked on, rolling her eyes.

"Those fiends must be stopped," Mr. Stoppable declared.

"But they're supervillains!" Mrs. Stoppable cried.

"And I'm Actuary of the Decade," he countered. "I can handle this."

"_We_ can handle this, Daddy," five-year-old Hana Stoppable announced.

"Uh huh!" Rufus chimed in.

"But Hana, this could be dangerous!" Mrs. Stoppable said.

"Mommy, I beat Yono the Destroyer when I was a toddler," the little girl whined. "Besides, I won't be able to go to school on Monday if my big brother and sister keep dorking it up like that! The other kids will laugh at me!"

"I still don't know about this," Mrs. Stoppable worried.

"Dear, she is a super ninja and Rufus has been saving the world with the kids for years."

"Are you really sure about this?"

"I've calculated the odds. Drakken and Shego are going down," Mr. Stoppable said confidently. "Now I just have to find my cape!"

II.

"You think you're all that, Kim Possible," Drakken crowed. "But when you're finished eating all of this," – he gestured at the huge horde of candy and other high-calorie treats in the lair – "you'll be all fat!"

"You know," Shego said, "while I'm all for Princess porking out and dying of embarrassment, don't you think we could be making better use of her and her boyfriend?"

"What do you mean?" Drakken asked before he helped himself to a piece of candy.

"Ugh," Shego groaned as she slapped her head. "You think maybe between her save-the-world skills and his monkey power-thing, we maybe should have them, oh I don't know, STEAL SOMETHING VALUABLE AND HARD TO GET?"

"Hmm," Drakken said as he rubbed his chin. "An intriguing idea, Shego. There were a number of tantalizing, if overpriced, goodies in the latest Hencho catalogue."

"See? I'm sure Kimmie and Stoppable could go and get you some death ray or something," Shego said.

"Like a jail cell, perhaps?"

Drakken and Shego turned to see a be-caped Mr. Stoppable, his hands on his hips and a look of determination on his face.

"And who are you?" Drakken asked.

"Your worst nightmare," Mr. Stoppable said defiantly.

"What? The bill collector?" Shego said snidely.

"Shego!" Drakken protested.

"Hey, it was a two-fer, what did you expect?" she replied with a shrug.

"A two-fer?" Drakken asked.

Shego smirked. "I got to mock you and whoever he is."

"I see," he huffed. "You know, you hurt with your words. I thought that would stop once we became engaged."

"Hey, It's what I do," she replied before she fired up her glow-power. "Would it make you happy if I hurt him with my hands instead?"

Drakken brightened. "Yes, very much."

"Well you'll have to go through me first, Old Lady," Hanna said as she dropped down from a vent. The youngest member of the Stoppable family was wearing a mission outfit identical to the one Kim usually wore.

"Hana!" Mr. Stoppable said disapprovingly. "You know you're supposed to treat your elders with respect."

"But Daddy, she's one of the bad guys!"

"Still, she's an adult."

Hana frowned. "Does this mean I can't defeat her?"

"Of course not," Mr. Stoppable said. "You just need to be polite when you defeat her. Just because she's evil doesn't mean you can forget your manners."

Shego shook her head in disbelief. "Wait a minute. You want me to fight _her_? She's a kid!"

"I know it's not a fair fight," Mr. Stoppable said sympathetically, "But you should have thought about the wages of villainy before you chose a life of crime."

"Uh huh!" chirruped Rufus, who popped out of Hana's leg pouch and darted towards Kim and Ron.

"The pink weasel thing!" Drakken exclaimed. "Shego, stop it!"

"On it, Doc—" she said before she was taken down by a perfectly executed leg sweep. When she looked up, Hana had assumed a martial arts stance.

"You're slow," the girl said as she smiled at a prostrate Shego.

"Okay, you asked for it, kid" she growled as she jumped to her feet.

"Bring," Hana said with an assuredness that would have made Kim proud.

"With pleasure," Shego replied. She was about to attack when Hana launched herself, her leg outstretched. Her little foot struck the villain's stomach with surprising force. The villainess once again found herself down. As she rose to her feet, she scanned the lair for Hana. "Where are you, you little brat?"

"Up here!" she announced brightly.

Shego looked up to see Hana walking on the ceiling. "What? How?"

Hana responded by dropping down on Shego as if she were Steel Toe and her opponent was a hapless Pain King.

"This, this can't be happening…" Drakken stammered as he watched the five-year-old take out his colleague-in-evil. "It's not possible!"

"Statistically unlikely," Mr. Stoppable said. "But not impossible. Now surrender or face the consequences."

"The consequences?" Drakken sputtered. "You're an actuary!"

"True," Mr. Stoppable said. "But they're Global Justice agents."

Drakken's eyes opened wide when he felt someone tap him on his shoulder.

"Uh oh …" he muttered before he turned to see a none-too-pleased Kim and Ron along with Rufus, who was proudly holding two neural compliance chips aloft.

"Dude, the costumes were bad enough," an angry Ron said. "But making me eat coconut candy?"

"Ron!" Kim said with exasperation. "Focus, please and thank you."

"Oh, sorry, KP," Ron said awkwardly before he glowered at Drakken. "Dude, the costumes were bad enough," he reiterated. "But trying to grande-size up my fiancée with Halloween candy? I'm so not down with that."

"Excuse me?" a tweaked Kim said to her affianced. "Are you saying you wouldn't marry me if I gained weight?"

"What? No!" Ron said. "You know I don't care about that kind of thing. I mean, if you were ginormous, there'd just be more of you for the Ronman to love!"

Kim's look of annoyance melted into an adoring smile. "You say the most weirdly romantic things."

"Ah, well, then, since we're all Chauncey …" Drakken said gamely as he tried to back away from Kim, Ron, and Mr. Stoppable.

"Not so fast," Kim said sternly as she grabbed Drakken's arm. "Do you know how much a whole new wardrobe at Club Banana would have cost me?"

"Well, er, um, you're free now, so, er, um no harm done?" he said nervously.

"Drakken, you are so busted," Kim growled.

III.

"Well, this is definitely unexpected," Betty Director observed as she read the hand-written note, which she then handed to Will Du.

"Indeed," he agreed.

"Still, I can work with this," she said. "Take them into custody."

"Yes, Ma'am," he said before he turned to the new prisoners. "Please follow me."

The chief of Global Justice shook her head in wonder as she watched the two neural compliance chipped-villains – one the clown-suited Drakken, the other the pumpkin-wearing Shego – obediently follow her erstwhile Number One agent to the brig. "The Rufus-Mr. Stoppable-Hana Stoppable Factor," she remarked with admiration. "Simply amazing …"

_The End. Really._


End file.
